Saturday, January 6, 2007


I love intelligent snarkiness. I believe in poking the complacent. But I have to be careful. Some people don't get it. Some only get it enough to be offended. Right now, I have to go back to the school and pull my son out of the clutches of the special education instructor.

When I first brought up my son's needs, while he was still in second grade, his teacher immediately arranged a meeting with the principal, the special education instructor, herself and us, his parents. The special education instructor had never heard of Asperger's. As we described his differences, his gifts and his needs, she attempted to force his behaviors into the boxes she knew about. None of these were related to anything ASD.

But we came out of the meeting, after making extremely clear our unhappiness with the SPB lack of knowledge and cooperation, with an agreed list of some simple things his teachers could do for the future to help him out, such as: he performs much better when he has a schedule laying out the time to be spent on each section (once he's in junior high, this won't be as important, as he will be changing classes for each section), letting him turn in homework done on the computer (instead of handwritten), earplugs for music class, giving him a few minutes to himself if he starts to melt down. Small things that can make a huge difference.

Well, the next year everything changed. The SPB apparently took a seminar on Asperger's because she was suddenly very interested in being part of our son's education. We agreed that he could go for some physical therapy once a week to help his small motor coordination. That was all we agreed to; it was the only reason we agreed to an ISP. But the therapy didn't happen that year or the next. If the school couldn't afford it, then they should have told us. They never did. We would have made other arrangements. But the real problem is that, this year, without our knowledge, the SPB began pulling him from class daily for "homework assistance." Bulls**t. She sent an ISP at the beginning of the school year. We didn't agree to it, beyond agreeing to physical therapy, and put this in writing. We didn't find out about the homework assistance for months.

When we did find out, we asked our son if he wanted to see the SPB for the homework assistance. He didn't seem to care either way. We let it go, and again requested, in writing, the physical therapy. Nothing has changed. The semester is ending. We've decided that he will no longer be under an ISP. We can arrange physical therapy through our health insurance.

As to the title, the SPB is completely clueless when it comes to snark. She doesn't get it. And anyone who doesn't get it should not be anywhere near my son, who understands snark, irony, puns, and the power of language (including the all-powerful pause). He could cut her into pieces and she would spend the entire conversation shifting each of his comments into a different box, to be assembled as his disability. Can you tell I hate her? She doesn't listen to anyone, at least not anyone without a doctorate. We're just bugs to be crushed on her way to getting her funding and filing her reports.

So, this must end. It will end.

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